Photo Credit: LucasFilm
Unless you’ve been living on Ahch-To or some similarly
remote planet in the galaxy, you know the latest Star Wars movie came out this weekend. This time it’s a spin-off
origin tale for Han Solo. I’ve been opposed to the idea from the start.
Harrison Ford is Han Solo and at 70-years-old, he’s not going to be doing any
origin roles. However the trailers looked better than expected so once again,
Disney got my money. Per the norm, I took my oldest son and his cousin and the
trailers didn’t let me down. We enjoyed it. Alden Ehrenreich isn’t ever going
to be mistaken for the real Han Solo, but he wasn’t terrible. Donald Glover was
great as young Lando Calrissian, there were plenty of cool aliens and chase
scenes, and Woody Harrelson was as entertaining as ever playing Han’s smuggler
mentor, Beckett.
So where does Solo: A
Star Wars Story rank among its peers? Well I ripped off my 2016 Rogue One post for most of this list,
but read on to find out how I scored all 10 films from worst to best.
The Phantom Menace
(1999)
This film is the George Lucas equivalent of Godfather III. Younger
versions of many of the characters you loved as a kid have returned to star in
an abomination that does its best to tarnish the image of the great films that
came before it. New baddie Darth Maul and John Williams’ excellent score are
the only reasons to watch this dismal effort.
Attack of the Clones
(2002)
Lucas’s second attempt in the new millennium has several
cool battle scenes and some impressive CGI, but Hayden Christensen is simply
awful as our newly grown-up hero. Every line of dialogue lands with a thud and
his scenes with would-be love interest Padme (Natalie Portman) are
excruciating.
Revenge of the Sith
(2005)
Retaining the terrible acting and dialogue of its two
immediate predecessors, this film improves upon those two outings based on
having the most interesting story to tell, but it’s still pretty bad. Ben
defeats Anakin simply because he stands on a taller rock?
The Last Jedi (2017)
Director Rian Johnson knows how to make a good film and this
movie has plenty to like, but two crucial flaws doom this entry to the lower
half of my Star Wars rankings. First
and foremost, I don’t buy what he did to the character of Luke Skywalker at
all. It just doesn’t fit the hero I grew up watching as a kid. And second, the
Leia floating through space thing... just no.
Rogue One (2016)
As much a war movie as a Star
Wars film, the storyline and several of the secondary characters are what
make this one special. The effects and battle scenes are as amazing as always,
but the two major CGI characters were disconcerting. Of larger concern, I just
didn’t find the main protagonist as engaging as last year’s similar hero, Rey.
Solo (2018)
Despite my misgivings over the casting of young Han Solo,
the rest of the cast was excellent. Ron Howard did a great job taking over what
was rumored to be a troubled shoot before he was brought in to handle directing duties and I wouldn’t mind seeing a sequel if Disney decides to tell
us the tale of just how badly Han screwed up to convince Jabba the Hutt to put a
price on his head.
The Force Awakens
(2015)
As many pointed out, this one is largely just a remake of
the original Star Wars, replacing the
boy protagonist with a girl. Nevertheless, it hits almost all the right notes.
If J.J. Abrams had done a better job with the ending of this one, I’m looking
at you Chewbacca and R2-D2, it might have rivaled the original trilogy.
Return of the Jedi
(1983)
Ewoks and George Lucas’s increased focus on selling toys
over storytelling takes this film down a notch or two, but it still has a ton
going for it. The opening sequence alone is worth the price of admission. Luke
Skywalker showing off his new powers inside Jabba’s palace and again on his
barge are some of the best scenes of the series.
Star Wars (1977)
The movie that started it all, George Lucas proved that
there was a huge audience for sci-fi if done right. Despite his later efforts
to mess this one up with new edits and even a new title, Star Wars remains a
classic. And Han shot first.
The Empire Strikes
Back (1980)
Rarely do sequels improve upon the original, but this one
did. Empire has more bad guys, more lightsabers, and the tightest script of the
series so far. If Boba Fett doesn’t get his own standalone film at some point,
Disney might just find itself with a date in the Sarlacc Pit.
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