Thursday, February 9, 2017

The Forgotten Eloquence of Motley Crue

Photo Credit: Barry Levine for Elektra Records

It’s February 2017 and I still haven’t found an agent for the middle grade manuscript I began querying 11 months ago. That sucks. Couple that with completely unqualified people like Betsy DeVos and Rick Perry getting sweet cabinet gigs and moronic stuff like Chewbacca Mom and Damn Daniel going so viral they wind up on Ellen and I have every reason to be depressed. Gold sinks. Shit floats.

But I’m not the type to get depressed. Not my style. You’ve got to look at the bright side. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When a door closes, a window opens. Insert positive-thinking clich├ęs here.

As I listened to You Tube today I realized there’s hope for even the worst writer. You just have to find your niche. Today I give you the video dialogue collection of the 100 million record selling rock band, Motley Crue.

Look at all the girls. Check it out!
This is it. Back home sweet home!
This is where it all began.
Check it out.

Oh no.
So where is it, Jimmy?
I swear a dog ran off with it.
To the principal’s office!
(Door slams)
Back again, huh, Jimmy?
But a dog really did run off with it.
You’re just never able to see our side of things, are you?
Bend over!
Their side of it? I wish somebody could see my side of it!

It’s for you, dude.
Yo! I’m on my way.
Phone for you, Mr. Mars.
I’m on my way.
Yeah, I’m on my way!
Wow, man. I think it’s for you.
I’m on my way!

Keep rockin’, all you indie writers. Keep rockin’.

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