5 Tech Titans That Could Be a Real-life Batman

With the massive gulf between the Top 1% of earners and everyone else in the world, I don’t know if we’ve ever had more billionaires. I’m pretty certain we’ve never had more evil scumbags wandering the planet either. This combination makes me wonder why we can’t have our own real-life Batman. No, not Ben Affleck. I mean an uber-rich nutcase with a thirst for justice and fantastic taste in exotic weaponry. I don’t know if any of these men are considering the job, but here are five people I wish would.

Photo Credit: USA Today

Jeff Bezos

The CEO and Founder of Amazon is worth $67.7B according to Forbes. Sure, he looks more like Lex Luthor than Bruce Wayne, but at 52 years old and with a taste for drones, he wouldn’t be a bad choice. On the other hand, he’s probably kind of busy running the world’s biggest online retailer while also dabbling in his Blue Origin space program and newspaper, the Washington Post. 

Photo Credit: Forbes

Mark Zuckerberg

The Co-Founder, CEO, and Chairman of Facebook is still only 32 years old and Forbes says his social network for sharing kids photos and bad political memes has earned him a cool $56.3B. He seems to have an interest in philanthropic causes, but with a wife and new baby to worry about can you picture this Internet geek focusing his efforts on beating up bad guys? Yeah, me neither.

Photo Credit: Charlie Rose

Larry Page

Forbes says the CEO of Google is worth $39B. With his gray hair and dark eyebrows, Page might pass for a George Clooney-era Batman, but honestly, does anyone look back fondly on the 1997 Batman & Robin film? Clooney nearly killed the franchise. Perhaps Larry should just stick with search engines and Lucius Fox-like data collection.

Photo Credit: Salon.com

Sergey Brin

Brin is the Co-Founder of Google and currently runs it’s secretive X division. Single, worth $32.6B and with a penchant for developing gadgets like Google Glass and self-driving cars, Sergey seems like a good fit for the dark cowl and cape. If he ever decides to market a motorcycle like the one in The Dark Knight, I totally want one. 

Photo Credit: theregister.co.uk

Elon Musk

The Co-Founder and CEO of Tesla Motors, Founder and CEO of Space X, Co-Founder and CEO of SolarCity, and visionary of the Hyperloop is worth an estimated $13.3B. This amount might pale in comparison to his peers listed above, but Musk’s résumé speaks for itself. Single, 45, and apparently near-limitless in what he can accomplish, Elon Musk is more often compared to Iron Man, but here he gets my vote for Caped Crusader. Maybe he can squeeze it into his schedule during lunch.